The Rating Scale
| A+ |
4 Stars |
| A |
4 Stars |
| A- |
3.5 Stars |
| B+ |
3.5 Stars |
| B |
3 Stars |
| B- |
2.5-3 Stars |
| C+ |
2.5 Stars |
| C |
2 Stars |
| C- |
1.5-2 Stars |
| D+ |
1.5 Stars |
| D |
1 Star |
| D- |
1/2 Star |
| F |
0 Stars |
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STARRING
Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Tracy Morgan, Kerry Washington
DIRECTOR
Keenen Ivory Wayans
SCREENPLAY
Keenen Ivory Wayans, Shawn Wayans
MPAA RATING
Rated PG-13
RUNNING TIME
90 LONG Mins.
DISTRIBUTED BY
Revolution Studios
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Odds are strongly in favor of the fact that you will not be seeing the best comedy being released in theatres this weekend.
It's not entirely your fault, actually.
You won't really have a chance, most likely. The best comedy being released this weekend is a smaller, independent film. It's incredibly unlikely the film will ever go into wide release.
Despite the film's stellar performances, intelligent script and consistent humor, odds are against you seeing "The OH in Ohio" in a theatre this weekend.
Nope, instead you may very well go revisit the latest "Pirates of the Caribbean" or you may finally go check out "Superman Returns" or "The Devil Wears Prada" to see what all that Meryl Streep buzz is about.
There's an even greater likelihood that your neighborhood multiplex will feature the two other comedies being released this weekend, "You, Me and Dupree" and "Little Man."
If you see a comedy this weekend, odds strongly favor it being between "You, Me and Dupree" or "Little Man."
Stop it.
Stop it right now.
Yes, Owen Wilson is an adorable little slacker. He's adorable, Kate Hudson is just so damn cute and that Matt Dillon, well, he was just amazing "Crash." So, of course, "You, Me and Dupree" must be really funny.
Stop it. Right now. "You, Me and Dupree" is not funny, original or fresh. It is a stale, predictable and tired comedy that achieves mediocrity thanks only to the fine work of Kate Hudson.
Oh, and those Wayans Brothers. They're just hilarious. They were just hilarious on "In Living Color" and, man, that "Scary Movie" film was stupid but really, really funny. Did you see 2004's "White Chicks?" It was bold and funny and unique and even a little sweet. Sure, it wasn't a great film. It sure was funny, though.
So, of course, their latest film "Little Man" has got to be hysterical. It's even about families and parents and babies...awww, it's going to be really sweet and funny.
Stop it. Just stop it. Stop attending lazy, badly written, horridly acted, carelessly assembled drivel like "Little Man."
Stop being as lazy as the films you're watching. Stop going to the nearest theatre and settling for films that don't deserve your hard-earned money. Stop encouraging the studios to keep producing films such as "Little Man." It is NOTHING like "White Chicks," and your hard-earned money could be better spent exploring the world of cinema, looking for a decent film and renting a decent DVD if you can't find a decent film.
Hollywood has to be taught that we will no longer be lazy moviegoers. We will no longer be moved by histrionic, forced over-emoting, no longer laugh at awkwardly unfunny scenes and, most importantly, no longer give our money to support films that recklessly disregard our intellect, values, feelings and ideas.
Start with "Little Man." Ignore it. It is unworthy of your time, energy and/or money.
In "Little Man," Shawn Wayans plays a wannabe father who, along with his wife Vannessa (Kerry Washington), takes in a baby he finds on the steps of his home. The only problem is the "baby" is actually a pint-sized jewel thief named Calvin (Marlon Wayans' face on the body of midget actors). Calvin's jewel heist went awry and he hid a valuable jewel in Vanessa's purse and he's come back to recover it.
Have you groaned yet? Shortly, a repetitive eye-rolling should be occurring followed, quite possibly, by waves of repulsion.
The trailer for "Little Man" was creepy enough. In the short span of a 1-2 minute trailer, we experienced child abuse, bad parenting, possible incest, inappropriate contact between adults, basic bodily fluid jokes and so much insincerity that it started to sound like George W. Bush preaching about the weapons of mass destruction again.
Truthfully, "Little Man" should be much creepier than it is. For the sexualization of the "baby" alone, one should be looking at the screen in mind-numbing awe. Surprisingly, this mind-numbing awe never occurs in "Little Man." This is likely due to the fact that the entire film is so poorly written, poorly acted and poorly produced that it is far too lame to be offensive.
The audience is forced to endure awkwardly stupid breastfeeding jokes (not once but twice), a wide array of bodily fluids being released and/or shared, rectal thermometers, the sheer stupidity of contradiction after contradiction of reason, intelligence and just plain common sense, an entire scene based upon dad being struck repeatedly in the groin area.
When the highlight of a film is a two minute cameo by Rob Schneider, it has become painfully obvious that the film in question is a complete and total disaster. Across the board, performances are forced, bland, tiresome and stunningly ineffective.
Shawn Wayans must've bet someone that he could make an entire film using one voice, a remarkable accomplishment notable only for the fact that the voice is a "cutesie" dad voice that he uses in every one of his interactions with children and adults alike. Kerry Washington, as his wife, fares no better and their relationship constantly feels contrived and pointless.
As the "baby," Marlon Wayans's character is so badly written that virtually none of his actions make sense and Wayans himself does nothing to sell their legitimacy. Perhaps this scenario would have played better had a true midget been used in the casting, however, the casting of Wayans and the blending of his head with the bodies in questions is awkward, unconvincing and lifeless.
One of the problems with a Wayans Brothers film is that it is often like a Sandler film in the sense that the Wayans Brothers often use friends and past co-stars. This can work for an ensemble cast in the sense of creating chemistry, but it can also sabotage a film...as it does here.
John Witherspoon? He's here again playing his usual crotchety old man. He plays this part well, but his performance here is clearly restrained from his usual barbed wit and in-your-face comic volcano.
The same is true for Tracy Morgan, as Calvin's sidekick. Morgan is essentially reduced to nothing more than Calvin's whipping boy, and the full spectrum of Morgan's comic abilities is sadly lost in the performance.
Cameo appearances from Molly Shannon and Rob Schneider start off promising, but quickly evaporate into thin air. The David Alan Grief cameo? Don't make me go there.
"Little Man" is what's wrong with American cinema. The Wayans Brothers are better than this film. They've simply taken their old, tired formula and transplanted it into a film that is, not so surprisingly, an old, tired film.
With ineffective cinematography and special effects, uninspired humor and dialogue that seems more concerned with shock value than cinematic value "Little Man" deserves the short end of the cinematic stick at the box-office this weekend.
Still can't decide on whether or not to see "Little Man" this weekend? You just love the Wayans Brothers so much? Hmmmmmmmm.
Showing your love to "Little Man" is akin to holding on to that awful, unsatisfying relationship just because you don't know how to break up. So, stop it. Stop giving your love to films and film-makers who ain't lovin' you back.
The Wayans Brothers are better than "Little Man." They're one of cinema's most talented and creative film families...but for all the love we've been giving them over the years, "Little Man" is not loving us back.
Should you see "Little Man" this weekend?
One short answer...No.
"Little Man" is the cinematic equivalent of an Uwe Boll comedy. |
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© Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic |
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