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The Independent Critic

STARRING
Hugh Jackman, Emma Stone, Chloe Moretz, Kate Winslet, Richard Gere, Gerard Butler, Uma Thurman, Elizabeth Banks
DIRECTED BY
Peter Farrelly, Bob Odenkirk, Brett Ratner, Elizabeth Banks, Griffin Dunne, James Duffy, Jonathan van Tulleken, Patrik Forsberg, Rusty Cundieff, Steve Carr, Steven Brill
SCREENPLAY
Elizabeth Wright Shapiro, Greg Pritikin, Jacob Fleisher, Jeremy Sosenko, Matt Portenoy, Patrik Forsberg, Rocky Russo, Steve Baker and Will Carlough
MPAA RATING
Rated R
RUNNING TIME
90 Mins.
DISTRIBUTED BY
Relativity Media

 

 "Movie 43" and "Hansel and Gretel" in the Same Week?  
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Have you ever wondered what a Saturday Night Live film would look like?

Welcome to Movie 43.

There's likely a market for Movie 43, most likely to be those who've always wondered what it would be like to have their favorite A-list stars get over-the-top naughty and say the things that aren't even remotely considered to be politically correct. The film is a lot like a bad Saturday Night Live episode, made only slightly funnier by watching these antics being carried about by people we normally enjoy when their films come around.

Hugh Jackman, who seems to be trying to create his own Norbit here, appears in a sketch with Kate Winslet where he has testicles hanging from his neck.

Do I really need to say more?

We expect this sort of drivel from Halle Berry, whose Hollywood career seems to be a pattern of 3-5 godawful films surrounded by an Oscar nominated performance. But, really? Hugh? It kinda sorta makes you long for Australia.

The film, and I use that term loosely, was the "brainchild" of Peter Farrelly, one half of the semi-respected Farrelly Brothers. He's recruited a small squadron of filmmakers, including such low-brow names as Brett Ratner and Steven Brill, and turned them loose to create short comedy sketches with apparently no boundaries of subject matter or taste. There's also no unifying theme for the film, unless you consider tasteless to be a theme.

Movie 43 is the second film this week that will unquestionably be remembered come Razzie awards season, though at least in this case we can acknowledge that a certain level of the incompetence is intentional.

Let's just take a look, okay?

Naomi Watts, another Oscar contender this year, stars with her real life beau Liev Schreiber in a sketch about home schooling where she's making out with her son while her husband comes on to him.

Seriously? Did they read the sketch before agreeing to it? Is this getting in touch with their dark side? Planning their domestic future?

Richard Gere, apparently failed by the Dalai Lama, shows up in a sketch with Kate Bosworth and Jack McBrayer where he's got a music player called the "iBabe" - a naked woman that mutilates younger boys.

What's the matter, Richard? Did you just get tired of all the hamster jokes?

Christopher Mintz-Plasse, whom most still remember as McLovin, appears with Chloe Moretz in a sketch directed by Elizabeth Banks where he coins the phrase "I want to give you a hickey on your vagina," a phrase followed by, you guessed it, her massive menstruation.

Really, folks. What else can I say? Do you really need to encourage this kind of garbage being made.

No.

I know you love these performers. They've made much better films, several of which are still in theaters. Go see them this weekend and leave Movie 43 alone.

Here we have it - My first "F" of 2013!

© Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic