There are those films in life that you watch for all the wrong reasons.

I'd like to tell you that I'm drawn to "Teenage Catgirls in Heat" because of its electric performances, dynamic script and mind-boggling special effects. I'd love to be able to say these things, but I can't. I simply can't.

There's actually only one reason to watch "Teenage Catgirls in Heat", and it's a reason I'm sure you'd never expect from the Rev.

Pussy.

Yep, that's right. "Teenage Catgirls in Heat" has pussy...lots of it...brunettes and blondes and redheads and probably a few other shades. "Teenage Catgirls in Heat" has so much pussy it's enough to make a grown man "purrrrrr."

Of course, I'm stretching this double entendre as far as it can possibly go AND I am, in all seriousness, referring to the "teenage catgirls" in question. They "Meow" and "Purr" and claw and bounce and pounce and, well, it's simply more entertaining than any Uwe Boll film I've ever seen by a long shot.

"Teenage Catgirls in Heat" is a Troma presentation from 1997, and as such it has the expected low-budget, campy feel to it that is a tradition for Troma releases. In the film, an Egyptian cat God orders all Earthly felines to surrender their nine lives so that they can mate with human males (leading to eventual termination). This is all done in grand preparation for "The Great Litter." Are you smiling yet?

You should be. "Teenage Catgirls in Heat" is a "B" movie the way a "B" movie should be done. It's fun, tongue-in-cheek, campy, sexy, a bit gory and constantly entertaining. The film stars Dave Cox as Ralph, who encounters the catgirls often. Ironically, Cox is also featured in another film with a unique flair to it, the Parker & Stone flick "Baseketball."

The film has a bevy of "Catgirls" dressed, quite literally, in the traditional "cat" costume similar to those of the Broadway musical "Cats." Very few of the "cats" ever speak a line, instead communicating almost every thought, feeling and action through catlike behaviors. It is campy beyond words, often hilarious and nearly impossible to not watch. The entire cast of "cat" unknowns, sadly, never worked again after this film having apparently had only one actual cinematic life that got used up in making this film.

Co-writer and director Scott Perry creates a constantly interesting and entertaining film despite it's obvious lackings in production value and dramatic impact. He seems to embrace the idea that "If you don't aim very high it's much easier to achieve your goals." He's not worked a ton in film, and has no film credit worth mentioning.

It takes a special type of person to embrace a film such as "Teenage Catgirls in Heat." It takes a downright freak to place it in their "Top 100" and give it an "A" range rating. So, yes, I'm calling myself a freak because I love this film and consider it one of the finest examples of a "B" movie. Is it a brilliant film? Nope. Is the acting the best I've ever seen? Nope.

The film succeeds because it recognizes its strengths and limitations and runs with them. "Teenage Catgirls in Heat" is the ultimate "B" movie...it captures the style, language and attitude of the best of the "B" movies but does so with a sort of dignity that keeps it from descending into irrelevance.

Why do I put "Teenage Catgirls in Heat" in my Top 100 films of all-time?

It's not about the acting.

It's not about the script.

It's not about the production design.

It's not about the direction.

Nope.

It's all about the pussy.

© Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic