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The Independent Critic

Dana Plato, Daniel Barquiet, Nick Santa Maria, Matthew Marko, Noel Sheaffer, and Ron Jeremy
Eric Louzil
Xavier Barquiet
Rated R
105 Mins.
Cheezy Flicks Entertainment


 "Bikini Beach" Available From Cheezy Flicks  
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It's probably not a good sign that the best thing about the 1992 film Bikini Beach Race is the presence of former Facts of Life co-star Dana Plato, whose post-Facts of Life career never came close to achieving the level of fame she had during her eight years (1978 - 1986) on the sitcom. Plato, who committed suicide by drug overdose in 1999, actually gave it a pretty good go here and is easily the best thing about a film that is otherwise an instant throwaway.

After all, it is being distributed by Cheezy Flicks Entertainment. That should tell you something.

While Plato's second claim to fame was very likely her appearance in Playboy, those hoping for a repeat of that spread will be disappointed as Plato is certainly sexily clad in this film but never strips down all the way (others do!).

Bikini Beach Race is an odd little film centering around, you should be able to guess this one, bed racing. Plato plays J.D., a champion boat racer who agrees to help lead a team, The Sex Puppets, as they heat up the raceway and try to win some cash along the way.

Of course, you'd be absolutely foolish if you thought any of this was actually about the story. It's not. Bikini Beach Race is about bikinis, the beach, and the races and a little (and I stress "little") bit of humor along the way.

Bikini Beach Race works at times primarily because Plato has her genuinely entertaining moments, while porn legend Ron Jeremy makes an appearance here and is, surprisingly enough, the second best actor amongst the players.

As not much more than a modest curiosity, Bikini Beach Race is worth a watch. One of the best things about the fine folks at Cheezy Flicks is that they keep their films affordable. So, if you're curious you get to watch a film that it's so bad that it's bad and support an indie distributor dedicated to keeping these types of films alive!

Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic