I was tempted to pass this film because it is SOOOOOOOO completely and unintentionally funny to watch. Why did I pick out this remarkably inept horror film?

My brother is a huge fan of Insane Clown Posse...to the point that he has the band members tattooed on his body. (Weird, right?). Well, ICP did the soundtrack for this film and so I found myself intrigued even though I'm hardly a fan of their music.

I'm not particularly surprised by their involvement in this low-budget affair as it dabbles in many of the same subjects as their music. I never could quite figure out if this film was trying to call itself a "righteous" film or a spiritual film or a demonic film. It's completely unclear to me. That is sort of how ICP is for me...they bounce from the most remarkably violent lyrics to "Shangri-La" quite quickly.

"Demons at the Door" is basically about the battle between Lucifer and God. Are we facing the battle of Armageddon? The door to Hell is basically opened by a group of archaeologists who possess the "Eye of Satan" that will allow demons to roam the Earth and declare war on humanity.

The film starts off with a "Darth Vader" like voiceover that makes "Evil Alien Conquerors" look like an Oscar winning film. What follows is one archaeologist with large breasts first being attacked outside the compound then struggling (with almost a display of emotion) to balance her loyalty to her mission with protecting herself and her father by bargaining with Demons who basically make threats like "I'm going to f*** your daughter like I f***** the Blair Witch." I swear, this line is really in the film.

There are so many things wrong with this film that I simply can't justify moving beyond an "F". First, we have a white guy playing an Islamic terrorist...we have the horrid Darth Vader voiceovers. We have the absolute worst CGI ever (If it is, in fact, CGI). We have Demons that resemble early Godzilla replicas. We have the most remarkably inept acting I've seen in quite some time. Literally, and I can hardly ever say this about a film...there is not one good performance in this film...not a spark, not a hint of talent anywhere. In fact, where I usually don't name actors in films such as this out of respect...this acting is so bad I'm going to name them...Richard Benedetto, Leslie Crockett, Angelo Benedetto (Isn't it sweet when both father and son suck as actors?), Bob Cicherillo and Sean'e La'Dae.

The demons here are called things such as Monkey Demon, Missy Demon, etc...

Oh, and the ICP soundtrack...sad to say, is remarkably lame and tame for ICP.

"Demons are at the door...let em' in and kill 'em."

© Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic