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The Independent Critic

STARRING
Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY
Martin Brest
MPAA RATING
Rated R
RUNNING TIME
122 Mins.
DISTRIBUTED BY
Columbia
 
 "Gigli" Review 
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The challenge of having the new Blockbuster Movie Pass is that I feel the freedom to rent films that I would ordinarily never considering paying a rental price to see...I've been watching films like a maniac since getting the pass 3 weeks ago...and so, I simply couldn't resist...the greatest train wreck of the last year and I simply had to see it for myself. Yes, it's true...I've watched Gigli.

Even the employees at Blockbuster offered the warning..."You do know this is supposed to be really bad?" Even in TC's world, this generous warning should earn Blockbuster a few brownie points. Too bad there's not a censorship label for "films too bad for human observation." Gigli would qualify.

Admittedly, I did not expect to like this film. Yet, I held out a faint hope that I might not totally hate it. One of the employees even offered some optimism by pointing out that there was an "autistic" dimension to the story and he was supposed to be the highlight of the film. This piqued my interest and gave me hope that I might find something to like about the film. Wrong again.

"Gigli" captured Razzie awards for "Worst Picture," Worst Actor (Affleck), Worst Actress (Lopez), Worst Director (Martin Brest), Worst Screenplay (Brest again) and Worst Onscreen Couple (Affleck/Lopez). Also receiving Razzie nominations were supporting players Al Pacino, Christopher Walken and Lainie Kazan. What's truly sad is that I can't argue with any of these wins or nominations. Uniformly, this is the worst ensemble cast I've seen in quite some time, with Justin Bartha (as the autistic Brian) being the highlight of the film...and, for the record, he doesn't come close to portraying anything close to autism or any other developmental disability. Mostly he just resembles a "Rain Man Smurf." Quite simply, he's obnoxious, annoying and sad...but he is the film's highlight.

I find it infuriating that Mr. Brest was paid to write this script. It is inept...pure and simple. It is not funny, it is not honest dialogue and the storyline is trite. Of course, much has been said about the various truly awful scenes. I won't rehash them again...suffice it to say that I couldn't pick just one to rip apart. The ENTIRE movie is horrid.

Affleck uses an awful, inconsistent accent...his character has no conviction, no commitment and no chemistry with Lopez.

Lopez? Quickly becoming the actress Madonna...no, wait, she's officially surpassed Madonna for theatrical crap.

The rest of the cast should just be grateful that they share less screen time...They have less time to look awful.

Do you catch my drift? There truly is no reason to see this film. It is beyond a train wreck...it is truly a poorly directed, poorly written and poorly acted film that does not deserve even a sympathy rental.

© Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic

    The Official Rating Guideline
    • A+ to A: 4 Stars                
    • A- to B+: 3.5 Stars            
    • B: 3 Stars                         
    • B- to C+: 2.5 Stars           
    • C: 2 Stars
    • C- to D+: 1.5 Stars
    • D: 1 Star
    • D-: .5 Star
    • F: Zero Stars

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