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The Independent Critic

STARRING
George Kiseleff, Ron Robbins, Christian Behm
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY
Ulli Lommel
MPAA RATING
Rated R
RUNNING TIME
83 Mins.
DISTRIBUTED BY
Lions Gate
 "Green River Killer" Review 
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It had to happen eventually.

"Green River Killer," released January 3, 2006 in the United States, is a worse film than the Godawful, Razzie destined, pathetically painfully film called "Phat Girlz."

I've waited months for such a film to surface. I've sat through horrid remakes, poor production values and downright dismal dramas waiting for a film to be so inept, so shockingly awful that I could officially say "It's worse than "Phat Girlz."

"Green River Killer" is not only awful. It's a premeditated, painstakingly awful film. It's a film with such amateurish performances, remarkably laughable production choices that writer/director Ulli Lommel, a man of 26+ previous films, comes off as a novice who saved Lemonade Stand's money all Summer just so he could make his own film.

Yes, it's truly that awful.

Based upon the complex, intriguing story of Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer who confessed to the murder of 48 women, Lommel's "Green River Killer" is instead a simple, straightforward film that considers pacing to be "kill, go to bar, kill, go to bar, go home and spook son, go to bar, kill, go to bar, kill." Get the point?

Even worse, the facts as presented by Lommel, who allegedly researched Ridgway for the script, are just plain, absolutely, without a doubt, unquestionably wrong. Ridgway's victims? Lommel would have you believe that all his victims were attractive Caucasian women from one dive bar. He's wrong. Ridgway murdered women from a wide range of ethnicities, including young girls. Yes, they were mostly prostitutes, however, they were not exclusively from this one location. The sheer stupidity in Lommel's logic is sad, as the madame who manages the women surely would have caught on after the 48th prostitute disappeared?

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. Maybe I'm not.

The casting of first-time feature actor George Kiseleff in the lead role is also questionable, beyond Kiseleff's cardboard performance. Kiseleff only slightly resembles Ridgway, though he does have an odd similarity to another famed killer, Gary Gilmore. While he's certainly not asked to stretch as an actor, Kiseleff fails to bring anything extra to the role or Ridgway. There's no insight into Ridgway's psyche, though certainly Kiseleff isn't aided by Lommel's script. The supporting players, mostly prostitutes and a couple detectives, are all either first-time actors or longtime Lommel regulars. Beyond the occasional soft-porn sex/murder scene they are given nothing to do of any substance.

"Green River Killer" is ultimately sunk by Lommel's use of cheap digital video, and an almost Bollesque use of cheesy special effects, unconvincing flashbacks and flashbacks that make no sense in the context of the film.

Let's take the roll call. "Green River Killer" offers a historically inaccurate, lifeless script surrounded by unimaginative direction of cardboard performances with weak, hysterically cheesy special effects.

Yep, it's official.

This "Green River Killer" gets its 49th victim...the audience.
© Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic
    The Official Rating Guideline
    • A+ to A: 4 Stars                
    • A- to B+: 3.5 Stars            
    • B: 3 Stars                         
    • B- to C+: 2.5 Stars           
    • C: 2 Stars
    • C- to D+: 1.5 Stars
    • D: 1 Star
    • D-: .5 Star
    • F: Zero Stars

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