Vanity thy name is Bruce Willis.

Bruce Willis writes and stars in "Hudson Hawk," a cat burglar just released from prison intent on living the straight life who is blackmailed into stealing Da Vinci works or his friend, Tommy (Uncomfortably played by Danny Aiello), will be killed.

A notorious box-office bomb, "Hudson Hawk" is a laughably bad caper flick that so cringe inducing that there are times it's difficult to even look at the screen. Rolling Stone critic Peter Travers called the film "Hudson the Duck," an homage to the far superior but also notorious bomb, "Howard the Duck."

Say what you will about it being "intentionally" funny and that Willis' aim was truly to create a "cool" caper flick. Regardless of his aim, the film fails miserably because the script is horrid, the actors and actresses seem almost self-consciously aware that they are starring in a truly awful flick and the production values don't come close to justifying a $50 million budget.

The film also stars Sandra Bernhard and Richard Grant as kinky criminals and Andie MacDowell as an undercover nun.

"Hudson Hawk" won 3 Razzies in 1992 including "Worst Picture," "Worst Screenplay" and "Worst Director" for Michael Lehmann. Willis, Grant and Bernhard all received Razzie nominations, but somehow lost. The film was also nominated for "Worst Picture of the Decade" in 2000.

Remember all the times you cringed in "Catwoman" and "Gigli?" Well, to be honest, this film is not as bad as either one of those films. Occasionally, the humor does click and Willis has enough of an aloof quality to make some of the awkward dialogue actually work. Yet, the film also has multiple "cringe" moments that will makes one squirm deeply down into one's seat so nobody can notice you're actually in the theatre watching the film.

There are lots of bad films. Heck, I've seen quite a few of them myself. Yet, very few films am I embarrassed to admit I've seen. I am embarrassed to admit I've seen "Hudson Hawk."

 

© Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic