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The Independent Critic

STARRING
Alyssa Diaz, Dustin Milligan, Sara Paxton, Joel Moore, Katharine McPhee, Chris Carmack, Chris Zylka
DIRECTED BY
David R. Ellis
SCREENPLAY
Jesse Studenberg, Will Hayes
MPAA RATING
Rated PG-13
RUNNING TIME
95 Mins.
DISTRIBUTED BY
Relativity Media
DVD EXTRAS
Theatrical Feature;
Shark Attack! Kill Machine!;
Ellis' Island;
Theatrical Trailer
 "Shark Night 3-D" Review 
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Not that I'm a huge advocate for R-rated films, but isn't there something a tad imbecilic about making a 3-D version of a shark film and having it be PG-13 rated?

REALLY?

Now, before I go any further I should confess something to you. If I'd have been high, completely drunk or with a small group of my rowdiest buddies then there's a darn fine chance I'd have enjoyed the "so bad it's good" aspects of Shark Night 3-D quite a bit more.

There's fun to be had in Shark Night 3-D, but not by anyone with a lick of common sense or who actually demands even the slightest bit of intelligence in their movies.

Shark Night 3-D is bad...so bad that if it would have been just a tad bit more tongue-in-cheek it may very well have made the perfect midnight flick. In Shark Night 3-D, you get to watch American Idol alum relieve herself (and not in the fun way), a sight that is actually one of the film's few highlights. Sara Paxton (Last House on the Left) fails to generate anything resembling a spark as the leader of the pack who invites her friends out to a weekend getaway that goes incredibly awry when they, um, discover that there sharks in that thar' lake. Dustin Milligan, who plays Paxton's med school boyfriend in the film, also gives the film one of its highlights with a post-credit music video that nails the tone that seems to evade Ellis.

Yes, I exaggerated that a bit.

Directed by David R. Ellis, not coincidentally the director of Snakes on a Plane, apparently didn't learn his lesson with that film and felt compelled to try sharks in a lake. There's a tremendous potential for a campy delight here, but the film's PG-13 rating and a laughably bad script from Will Hayes and Jesse Studenberg (Yes, it actually took two people to write this one.) doom the project from its earliest moments. 

Shark Night 3-D also features an appearance from Joel David Moore, who has never met a nerd he wouldn't play, along with semi-familiar faces Donal Logue and Joshua Leonard. There's almost no character development in the film, so you're incredibly unlikely to care who gets eaten (You won't be surprised that the minority, played by Sinqua Walls, gets nailed first!) and, instead, you may find yourself grateful that something happens to shut these beautiful but mostly vacant beauties up.

If you go into Shark Night 3-D with a willingness to surrender to the silliness of it all and with low expectations for cinematic staples such as acting and writing, then there's a much greater chance you at least won't regret having spent your hard-earned cash on a mediocre film. A light popcorn flick best seen under the influence, Shark Night 3-D is so bad that you might just enjoy yourself.

Probably not.

DVD NOTES: The DVD comes with a few extras that are interesting to watch. It should be noted, of course, that unless you have a 3-D television you are not going to see the "3-D" version of this film. 

© Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic
    The Official Rating Guideline
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    • C: 2 Stars
    • C- to D+: 1.5 Stars
    • D: 1 Star
    • D-: .5 Star
    • F: Zero Stars

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